What this website is NOT…
So far, it is not profitable.
I literally just have tons of spare time. So here I am.
It will never be a Fitness Blog.
I’ve seen other writers/bloggers who start out with shabby chic home decor or jewelry making, and then eventually segue to their weight loss journey. I promise to not do that. Look, I want everyone to be healthy, but if I ever take a mirror selfie in a sports bra it’s only because I probably drank too much and was using my phone in the bathroom.
It will never be about Money-Saving Tips or Financial Advice.
My credit score was so bad that I was turned down for a credit card from The Gap in 2003. In 2004 I applied for a Victoria’s Secret card and was approved! I promptly maxed it out at my $250 limit. When I married my husband in 2005 he immediately cut up that card and said, “We aren’t financing bras anymore.” Jokes on you, mofo! That was the last time I wore a non-geriatric looking bra. In 2008 when we purchased our home, my name was left off the mortgage because it so drastically impacted our interest rate. My credit score is excellent now, but only because my husband is super disciplined with finances and my name is attached to his.
It will never be a Parenting Blog.
My kid is awesome. He is only awesome because he literally emerged from my womb that way. He is not awesome because of any of my parenting philosophies, such as “Let me bring you a plate of pizza rolls while you play Xbox for five hours.” His 3rd grade teacher told me that she overheard a conversation at lunch one day and the class had voted me “Most Embarrassing Mom” of the class. SJ agreed with them. Jokes on them - I don’t have any shame! I also began to notice that the kids all referred to the other parents in the class as Ms. Cameron or Mrs. Adams. Do you know what they call me? Danya. Just my first name. That’s how little respect I command.
It will never be a Fashion Blog.
I want it to be a fashion blog. I truly do. I want people to look at me walk by and think, “wow, she is so effortless and sophisticated.” Alas, I have succumbed to function over form in my day-to-day wardrobe. When SJ was in Kindergertan and I was a full-time SAHM, another mom asked me where I went to work out every day. I said, “What? No, I don’t really work out.” Her reply was, “Well, you always look like you are headed to work out.” Um, no, I am dressed like this because I am going home to scrub a toilet then watch television. I don’t need to wear super-basic Tory Burch sandals to do that. Bitch.
It will never be a Lifestyle Blog.
I mean, I have always wanted a “Lifestyle” which summons images of me cooking artichokes wearing a floppy hat in a light-filled kitchen. My sister-in-law is a photography director for a major brand. My mother-in-law offered her and I some excess wine glasses she had received as a gift and asked which color we wanted. Sis-in-law picked the black one because she said it best matched her “aesthetic.” I was instantly jealous because she was right - she has a very cultivated style. My aesthetic is turning a blind eye to the stains on my carpet that look like an animal has perpetually relieved itself in the same spot. And we don’t even have any pets so I will let you use your imagination as to how they got there. I took the white wine glass. My sweet sis-in-law said, “well, white is a diamond, like you!” She is too kind.
SO WHAT WILL THIS WEBSITE BE?
An inclusive place. Please just come as you are. I don’t have the energy for pretense anymore. My daily dosage of Zoloft makes sure I can’t care too hard.
An honest place. We need people in our lives who are “realistic cheerleaders.” Maybe you’ve made some crap choices, but that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve someone on your side reminding you that you matter and can do better tomorrow. Or the next day. That’s a fine time, too.
An attempt at making myself...something. Oh, man. I have struggled with myself over the years. I don’t have a lot of skills or bankable talents. I have said that I am my own hobby because managing myself is a job in itself. In the interest of full disclosure, my goal is to score a book deal and have a book signing and a Q&A portion after I read excerpts from my memoir. This is like reverse therapy - you will pay ME to listen to my issues.
So welcome to my website and please stick around to laugh or feel better about your own circumstances. We can be friends even if we have never met. Or if you do know me, that’s all the more fun. Thanks for your support. Let’s brighten up a small space of the internet.
