Hot Gossip From My Guest Room
Ten days ago my husband returned from a business trip to Puerto Rico with a flaming case of COVID. I contracted it a few days later (not sexually so what a waste of a virus!) and can tell you that this strain has some real Caribbean flair. In an effort to keep SJ from also suffering, I quarantined myself in the guest room for the week.
The first few days were teeming with fever, coughing and some serious congestion. I watched my comfort shows (Gilmore Girls, New Girl, etc) and tried to not die. But on about Day 4 I started to make some improvements, so I decided to indulge in two of my favorite hobbies:
Playing with my watercolor pencils.
Deep dive into celebrity gossip.
Bennifer 2.0.
Look, I wasn’t a fan the first time around. Something about them just seems mismatched, and not in an “opposites attract” sort of way. Like, they seem to be fundamentally different. Both are talented and I’m sure hard workers, but I don’t see much in common past that. It even gives me cringe-vibes to see them engaging in PDA, and they are both way too attractive for that visceral response.
For 20 years I think they both held the other as their “white whale,” “the one that got away,” “the great ‘what if?’” And suddenly they were in a mutual place where the relationship could work again and the romance of it all tangled them up for just long enough to get engaged and actually go through with it. Lots of reports claimed Ben was in a “fever dream and wished he could divorce on grounds of temporary insanity.”
So during my isolation I viewed her Amazon Prime music video/cinema experience/dumpster fire called “This is Me…Now.” I would describe this in one word: Unwatchable. I was so confused. I wanted to blame it on the cold medicine, but that might have been the only thing that made me watch this garbage dump for more than five minutes. The music is bad. I didn’t understand the storyline. A person shouldn’t have to search that deep for meaning in a JLo song.
I chased that bitter taste with the salty “The Greatest Love Story Never Told,” her and Ben’s documentary. This was watchable, but I suspect the only way Amazon bought her full-length music video/movie/train wreck was by offering up this look into their private life. And after watching this I would say he is clearly embarrassed by her penchant for over sharing and is grossed out because she LET HER ENTIRE TEAM OF EMPLOYEES READ THE PRIVATE BOOK HE MADE FOR HER AS A CHRISTMAS GIFT that was full of love notes and all of their intimate moments. She even admits in the documentary that he didn’t like it and she did it anyway!
I think they both really care about each other’s kids and that is the only reason it lasted this long. She is addicted to attention and being in love, and he needs someone who is low maintenance. I suspect he has some serious regrets about what he did to his other Jennifer….
My prediction: They are waiting for the 4th of July weekend to announce their divorce so it can get a little lost in the hoopla of the holiday news cycle. That’s why she is in Italy now, and he will probably take his kids on vacation to ignore the noise from the media (and a no-name writer from Kansas) because that’s what he did when he got divorced last time.
Justin Timberlake
Speaking of people who were famous in 2003…Justin Timberlake…oy vey. I don’t have a strong opinion on this other than to say, this is the second time he has been in a public scandal where he apparently drank too much and made a poor choice. (See THIS STORY). I don’t know if he has a substance abuse problem, but if I were his publicist I would tell him to go to some sort of treatment facility to glaze this over.
The Crossover Episode of My Dreams
Will! George! Charlotte! Taylor! Travis! All in one picture that I want to print on canvas and hang above my mantle. Or make it my Christmas card. If Kate had been there, I wouldn’t be writing this because I would have had a stroke just looking at Instagram.
I get angry when people say things like, “celebrities are no better than the rest of us.” Um, yes they are. And these people are superior to practically all 8 billion of us. This picture was the culmination of centuries of progress and the breeding of beautiful and talented people that eventually exploded like a volcano and produced this one moment of perfection for humanity in the form of an Instagram selfie. And while we are on the subject….
Taylor & Travis Engagement
I have two theories about this.
They got engaged while they were at Lake Como in Italy last month. The paparazzi caught them doing some very proposal-like activities (boat rides, dining alfresco at a swanky villa, and taking moonlight strolls).
There are a LOT of their people in Europe right now (Jason & Kylie Kelce, Patrick & Brittany Mahomes, and Taylor’s squad and her parents usually make many appearances at her shows). If they have already gotten engaged, I think the crew is all there to celebrate with them. And if he hasn’t popped the question yet, he wants all their most important people there for it.
She has also confirmed she will not be adding any more dates to her tour, which some had speculated she would. While I’m sure some of it is just burn out and the need to move on to the next thing, I think she wants to prioritize herself and her relationship. And probably plan a wedding that will leave me catatonic for a week.
Speaking of catatonic, my Caribbean COVID wants me to feed it some ibuprofen, cough drops and go to bed.
