The 42 Year-Old Debutante
When I die I want the following life events mentioned in my obituary:
Winning a children’s beauty pageant on a hay trailer at a county fair.
Losing as a contestant on the game show “Let’s Make a Deal.”
Surviving attacks by a raccoon AND a wiener dog (2 separate incidents).
Performing at The Ladies Laugh Lounge at The Comedy Club of Kansas City on April 24 & 25.
For those of you unfamiliar with this homegrown event you can read more about it here. But the gist of my role in this 2-night event is being introduced as a “Debutante” on the Kansas City comedy scene by being given 3 minutes on stage to show you how funny/charming/brave/delusional I am.
My chain reaction of feelings upon learning I booked this gig was:
Shriek with excitement.
Throw up from anxiety.
Take a nap because I have the nervous system of one of those fainting goats.
Get to work.
So how did this all come about? My sweet friend, Abby, attended The Ladies Laugh Lounge last fall. Afterwards she told me that she couldn’t get the vision of me on that stage out of her head. She believed in me so much that she emailed Becky Blades, the Godmother of the LLL (and actual biological mother of two phenomenal females in comedy) to tell her about me.
I would never have believed in myself enough to ask to be given a space on that stage. But Abby did. This is why all of us need an Abby in our lives, or need to be more like Abby and root for our friends like we root for ourselves.
Pictured Above: Abby! She is the friend I call when I want to do something that I know no one else will want to do (calligraphy, scone baking, doormat painting) because she is ALWAYS down for a good time. She’s smart, successful and SINGLE! The girl bakes AND brings home the bacon. If I die, I told AJ to marry Abby. If AJ dies, I will marry Abby. So I recommend someone marry Abby before AJ or I die and you miss out.
And as excited/nauseous/sleepy as I am to perform, I am FREAKING OUT at the talent with which I will share the stage.
Jen Mann doesn’t know me, but after I read her NYT Bestseller “People I Want To Punch In The Throat” on a beach in San Diego in 2014, she inspired me to start dabbling with writing again. Before then I didn’t know a space for people with my brand of humor existed and she illuminated the path. And I am planning to accost her with this story upon meeting her. And make her autograph my book.
Pictured Above: Photographic evidence of my decade-long obsession with Jen Mann.
I was familiar with Andrea Caspari from her comedy tour with Bored Teachers. I wish I could be as funny as her without relying so much on my gynecological mishaps to get laughs. Clean comedy takes real talent and Andrea has it.
Janell Banks was a new name for me. I stalked her on YouTube and peed in my pants a little when she talked 90s dance moves and how Kansas Citians love to drive with expired temporary tags until they actually disintegrate. I hope she likes me, too.
And I have already started daydreaming about my husband and I double-dating with Diana Kander and her husband, Jason. They are this cool power couple who advocate for veterans and mental health and write books and appear on National news programs and casually know people like the Bidens….
And there will be more than just these aforementioned goddesses. Becky really stacked the deck this time. At past shows there has been an opportunity for performers to sell their books and sign autographs and meet their fans. I don’t have any of these things, but if you come I will pose for a picture with you and hug you a little too long because I am so grateful you came to see me and support women who are adding sauce to the world.
Click here for tickets!
The Ladies Laugh Lounge is at 7 p.m. on Wednesday, April 24, and Thursday, April 25, at The Comedy Club of Kansas City.
