Welcome to Part Two of our Pandemic Vacation. As you will recall from my first installment, we are exploring our friendly neighbor to the north, Stillwater, Minnesota. So far we have had wood-roasted coffee, a brush with a motorcycle gang, Flintstone-esque dining, and a near-death experience while hiking.

Directly below our Airbnb rental was a coffee shop/bike rental facility, Mike’s Electric Bikes. Naturally I did my research before getting on this two-wheeled wonder. My main fear was that I wouldn’t understand how to use it and drive myself directly into the river. Not only would this be embarrassing, but I have a fear of being in non-chlorinated water. I’ve been forced to watch too many Animal Planet and Discovery Channel specials to trust anything that can breathe water. So I would not commit to the electric bike until I had a full explanation and tutorial.

We opted for the 2-hour rental so it was about $90. My vote is that the price is worth it because we covered so much more terrain than with a pedal bike. I would have been crying from the struggle of going up the first hill had it not been for the nifty motor.

The kind woman who acted as the liaison for the bike rental seemed very competent. She attempted to put my mind at ease by assuring me that the bike can only be powered by my pedaling. (Danya Rant: I have a few bicycle-related trust issues stemming from learning to ride my bike as a child on Grove Street. My family had a gravel driveway so we would use our next door neighbors drive to give me lessons. I’d finally mustered the courage to have my training wheels taken off and just let my parents hold on to the back of my seat. Four-year old Danya trusted her parents to not let go, like they promised. I started off cruising along nicely, but when I directed a question at my parents, they were NOT there. I peeked back and they were at the base of the driveway, waving to me and clapping. I immediately flailed my myself off the bike. I wasn’t hurt but wailed from the toxicity of being tricked by my parents. I marched into the house and anger watched “Muppet Babies.”) But this nice lady seemed to think my worries were unfounded, and I suppose I was reassured with the knowledge that if anything went wrong, the waiver I signed probably wouldn’t hold up in court. I felt like I held the cards here. So I signed the dotted line.

*Look at these wild hogs! AJ had the Fat Tire version and I had whatever they call the version with a basket on the back.*

The idea of the electric bike, by my calculations, is that it is the equivalent to constantly riding with your back to the wind. And isn’t that the most dope part of riding a bike? Our concierge told us we could cover 17 miles in our two-hour rental. I didn’t believe it. She doesn’t know how out of shape I am. We started out with a wide trail next to the St. Croix River. It wasn’t too crowded so I could get the hang of how the bike worked. Basically, if you don’t need much help, you keep it in gear 1. If you are at an incline or are facing wind, pump it up to gear 2 or 3. The maximum speed is 20 mph which is not as fast as I thought once we were actually going. It was windy in the openness next to the big bridge, which was maybe my favorite part of the excursion. I felt like a real outdoors person and bike rider, minus the lame spandex costume. The bikes provide a view you wouldn’t otherwise get from a car or walking. You cover more territory that isn’t easily accessed by car and much quicker than you could if you were hiking. And we actually DID cover about 17 miles of trails. My best piece of advice would be to ride bikes (or do anything really) during weekdays. If the trail was crowded (and it usually is on weekends) it would have been difficult to maintain speed and not get super annoyed with others on the trail. Honestly, it was probably my favorite activity of the trip. I was tired by the end but it was the type of tired I would expect a fit person to experience post workout.

The portion of the ride through the wilderness was legit. I kept singing the song “Fat Bottom Girls” by Queen. You know, the part where Freddy Mercury yells out, “Get on your bikes and ride!” This made me super popular on the trail.

Extreme outdoors people deserve extreme lunches. I’m a chick who likes a big lunch, but it feels even better after I have worked up an appetite through physical exertion rather than when I work up an appetite from watching television and playing Gardenscapes on my phone. Furthering my notion that I am a super-chill wife, I decided to spontaneously choose a restaurant with a high Yelp rating, The Oasis Cafe. We had spied the cafe on our way into town with its expansive outdoor seating area overlooking the river. The food was top notch and the cafe clearly does good business based on the number of people eating there on a Tuesday afternoon. It was your basic diner food, but perhaps a little more high end. For sure the best lunch we had on the trip.

*Veggie Grilled Cheese. I applauded my super-fit self for ordering a side of fruit instead of fries.*

I like to rate small-ish towns by the boutique shopping scene. I work part time for a big retail company, so I have access to all sorts of major brands with my employee discount. It’s probably why I choose to shop small when I can, since it provides a chance to see what is happening with other areas of retail. Here are my top 3 stores from Stillwater.

Smith + Trade Mercantile

For sure a “Rose Apothecary” vibe for fans of Schitt’s Creek. Multiple local artisans under one roof with a fresh take on everyday items, like beanies made from buffalo fur found in the wild, antlers as art, and wood etchings of area lakes. They also have arts & crafts classes (during non-pandemic times). Very cool space without too much pretense.

Scandinavian North

Modern Swedish gifts and home decor. Minimalist in design and strong in product. You can tell each item was carefully selected to fit the aesthetic. The jewelry was my favorite part, though. I purchased a ring by Swedish designer Edblad. It’s silver and nickel free so you don’t get the tarnish like most silver jewelry. The staff was cool and helpful.

*Launching my career as a hand model. Dottie Glitter Ring, $47.*

Toxyfree

I browsed in here forever! The price points are high, but so is the quality. I can appreciate places that have a well-curated selection, rather than just a hodge podge of items hoping to appeal to everyone. From crystals to fermenting crocks to compostable loofahs, the store is stuffed with unique items while still feeling understated. The owner was minding the shop and was so hospitable. We talked merchandising and about how she picks items from area vendors and others who share her passion for toxic-free and sustainable living. They ship so consider Toxyfree if you are looking for something truly special.

These flowers were grown and preserved by local Minnesota farmers using the “Slow Flower” process, which is chemical-free and all labor is fairly paid. I have no idea what type of flower this is, but it’s going on my mantle. Preserved Flowers, $27.

If he can’t be in the wilderness, breweries are AJ’s preferred hideout on vacation. I volunteered to be the designated driver to Liftbridge Brewing Co. so he could enjoy himself to the fullest. Again, this makes me look super compromising, but it’s really just because I don’t care that much about beer. It’s not on the main drag where we were staying so it really made it look like I was taking one for the team by driving us there. Our desire to remain exclusive outdoor diners/drinkers was trickier here because of an unforeseen problem: bees. They were everywhere outside, and they were especially giddy about circling the beer. With all of AJ’s weird allergy issues, we were nervous about getting stung, so we elected to sit indoors since there were no other patrons inside at the time. I kept my mask on the whole time and AJ only took his off to drink his beer. I don’t know if this is what is best but we are trying hard to be safe and compliant. His top picks were the Farm Girl Saison, and the Half-Assed IPA. I can’t vouch for this but he drinks a lot of beer so I would take his word for it.

*I think he picked the Farm Girl Saison because he thinks of me as his farm girl and he is totally obsessed with me.*

Dinner that night was A+. My compulsive research led us to LoLo American Kitchen, specializing in Korean-inspired dishes. With a focus on locally sourced ingredients (picking up on the trend?) it has earned a reputation as one of the better eateries in Stilwell. I can attest to this. We were especially wowed by the table top, which was conveniently “trough level” for maximum inhalation of Brussels sprouts and duck tacos. My food was good, but do you know what made this vacation Danya-Certified Fresh? A drink called “Lady Glitter Sparkles.” It was as though my body was liquified, mixed with tequila, and served with a bamboo paper straw. Tequila and I have a complicated relationship - she likes to sneak up on me and then start bad-mouthing people I have grudges with and then make me think I am super sexy so I need to strut when I walk to the bathroom five times in one hour. But add some cava and Aperol, and I convince my husband to take a walk across the lift bridge late at night to Wisconsin when it is just creepy people fishing over the side. I tried to put as much food in my body as I could to soak up the alcohol, but Lady Glitter Sparkles kept beating me into submission. I was DRUNK after just two of this magical specimen of a drink.

*There you are, Lady Glitter Sparkles. After two of you, you made me consider smoking a cigarette (something I haven’t done since the week I turned 18) behind the dumpster with the kitchen staff.*

*This is the face of a girl with an inflated sense of confidence. I made AJ laugh really hard during dinner and that is my favorite thing in the world.*

We ate at a few other places, but I would call them just average. Nowhere was bad, but some just fell short of expectations. Brick & Bourbon was touted as the “it place” to dine, but I found it just so-so. Same with the Irish pub around the corner from our loft. Both seemed a little over priced and over hyped. Again, they were fine, but nothing remarkable.

I’m usually filled with dread on the drive home because it means vacation fabulosity is dead. Luckily, my travel companion doesn’t mind the concert I put on in the car. He has this super special ability to tune me out when I start singing Hall & Oates or weeping a little to Simon & Garfunkel. As an aspiring DJ (my stage name will be DJDJ) I obsessively make playlists and road trip mixes are a specialty.

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Mike’s Electric Bikes

http://mikeselectricbikes.com/

209 Main Street South, Stillwater, MN

631-342-1914

Oasis Cafe

https://www.oasiscafemn.com

806 Main Street South, Stillwater, MN

651-439-0928

Smith + Trade Mercantile

https://smithandtrade.com/

229 Main St. South, Stillwater, MN

651-342-2976