Danya’s Favorite Things 2022
The Tushy Bidet, $99. https://hellotushy.com
This is truly my number one favorite thing for going number two. I wrote a story about it called “My New Butthole,” however I decided it was too racy for free internet content. But, alas, I simply cannot make a list of my favorite things this year and not include The Tushy.
Why I waited until I was 40 to introduce a bidet in my home I’m not sure. I know very few people who have them, as they have never been mainstream in the USA. But the concept seemed practical to me: wash your bum.
Mine is not fancy. It does not require any special plumbing and took less than 5 minutes to install. While the water is not heated, I enjoy the refreshment of a cool stream of water splashing on my bits. Then I just pat dry and feel clean and tidy for the rest of the day!
2. Van Leeuwen’s French Ice Cream, $8. https://vanleeuwenicecream.com
I’m considering forming a cult around this ice cream. At our cult meetings we will just try new flavors and talk about why French ice cream is superior to all others (Spoiler alert: It’s the extra egg yolks!). I turned a stranger at the grocery store into a disciple when he was staring at the freezer section and I gave him my review of the Van Leeuwen. It was something like, “Save your time and just buy this. And then be prepared to hate everything else in the world because nothing will ever give you as much joy as this ice cream.” My favorite is the Honeycomb, but they have other flavors like Sicilian Pistachio, Brown Sugar Chunk, Bourbon Cherries Jubilee, and Raspberry Layer Cake. I buy mine at the Sprouts grocery store by my house. But I recently learned you can have it shipped anywhere in the USA. God bless America for French ice cream!
3. Barefoot Dreams Travel Wrap, $118.
https://www.barefootdreams.com/products/cozychic-lite-wide-rib-travel-wrap
This is a fancy “Snuggy.” It makes me feel a little less gross when I am being lazy, because it kinda looks like a cape or pashmina. Officially it is called a Travel Wrap, so I bought it before my birthday trip to Santa Barbara to wear on the plane. I looked so sassy. I recently wore it on a girls getaway where we sat outside on a chilly night, and one of my friends bought one after coveting mine. Just make sure it is the Barefoot Dreams. Others may imitate, but the real deal is worth the extra cash.
4. The Crossroads Hotel, $250/night. https://crossroadshotelkc.com
My new favorite KC Staycation spot. Ultra cool and a very see-and-be-seen atmosphere for the 30-45 year-old set (but not in a skeezy, hook up way). The rooms are modern and industrial-chic and comparable in price to the cookie-cutter hotels around the city. Lots of little amenities like bougie toiletries, a packed mini bar, and a shower as big as my entire bathroom. If you aren’t able to stay the night, Lazia restaurant is worth the visit and so is the bar, XR. In the summer months a rooftop space opens up, but I have not been. No doubt I will brave the humidity and boob sweat to look like I’m part of the KC elite.
5. Trader Joe’s Eucalyptus Bundles, $3.99. https://www.traderjoes.com/home/products/pdp/eucalyptus-081022
It’s a little investment that gives me a big return - fresh eucalyptus bundles from Trader Joe’s. I put it in a vase next to my bed and I feel like royalty. Do you think Kate Middleton breathes in eucalyptus while watching The White Lotus on HBO, too? For sure. The key is to change the water in the vase every day. I get at least a week out of it.
6. The Pantry’s Honey Buns, $4. https://thepantrykc.com
The line here is getting longer. That’s great for my friend, owner Deepal Patel, but bad for me, the person who used to saunter in around 11 am on Sunday and get what she wanted. But Dee always treats me right and just when I am bummed about not making it in time for a blueberry scone, she steers me towards a fancy Honey Bun, and all is right in the universe again. I was trying to describe The Pantry’s Honey Bun to AJ after trying it for the first time.
Me: You probably aren’t familiar with Honey Buns because your mom stayed home and cooked for your family and you didn’t have to rely on the things in a plastic wrapper for nutrition.
AJ: Um, well, that’s true but I am also a human so I am familiar with what a Honey Bun is.
Touché.
7. Parachute Linen Sheets, $329 for queen size.
Oprah had a designer on her show once (maybe Nate Berkus?) who said that you should save on fabrics that you won’t come into close contact with and splurge on the ones closest to your skin. I have subscribed to this notion as well. So I don’t buy expensive drapes, but I spare no expense on sheets and towels. My new favorite? Parachute. I was introduced to the brand via my designer sister-in-law who always has the skinny on cool stuff. She raved about the linen sheets from Parachute. I was skeptical…most linen kinda felt like a potato sack to me. But after a few nights on this miracle fabric, I was sold. Warm enough in the winter, cool enough in the summer. I still have night sweats occasionally, but the sheets are no longer the culprit. Just good old-fashioned hormones now. I also have the sheets in percale for my guest room and sprung for a mattress topper, too, that makes me want to live in my bed.
8. Totinos Frozen Pizza, $2. https://www.totinos.com
I am convinced that if I traveled to Naples and had real, authentic pizza in its birthplace, I would be underwhelmed and craving that cracker crunch, and salty hit from a cubed, meat-like product. It tastes like the latch-key dinner of my youth, the 2 am too-much-to-drink of my 20s, and the “sneak a bite off my kids plate” of my 30s. I long for the days of the circular pizza in a square box, but appreciate the efforts to reduce carbon footprint by going square in a plastic wrapper. If this product were to meet a similar fate as the Choco Taco, I would buy a deep freeze for the express purpose of hoarding this culinary delight. (Side hustle idea: Get a toaster oven and a food cart and hang out in front of bars and sell these for $10 each.)
9. L. Erickson Ponytail Holders, $12 for set of 8.
The price seems steep, but these are a bargain based on cost-per-wear. And if my husband did not constantly throw these away when I leave them laying around they would be an even better value. These ponytail holders don’t stretch out and are substantial enough that you aren’t as likely to lose them in couch cushions or at the bottom of your handbag. Hair stays in place longer, and they don’t look like something a toddler would wear.
10. Undersummers Classic Moisture Wicking Slip Short, $29 each
To the shock and disgust of many unassuming people, I will frequently lift up my dress to show off these champions of comfort. They are not shapewear! It is simply a silky, anti-chafe short that makes wearing summer dresses so pleasant. Sexy? Absolutely not. Necessary? For sure. I cheaped out and bought a knockoff on Amazon once, and they were NOT created equal. This is the real deal! If you have ever worn biker shorts under your clothes - STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND BUY THESE!
